Dadgum

I had to go to the Wal-Mart a few days ago. I still hate going to the Wal-Mart but sometimes it's unavoidable. Like when you need seven dowel rods because you get a crazy idea. I'll have to fill you in on that later.

So, I'm at the Wal-Mart and I am in the check-out lane for like 3 years or something like that. Why did they build 783 check-out lanes if they were only going to use 3 of them? Seriously, talk about wasting our Earth's resources. Thanks Wally World. And don't even get me started on those "Self Checkouts". You know how that makes me feel? Like Big Wal-Mart Executives are up on the second floor behind that one way mirror and they are laughing and mocking us.

"Ha, ha. We stock crap that no one should buy, gradually increase the price of all of it, never, ever help you find the crap you need, and now we don't even take the time to take your money from you. Ha, ha, ha (in an evil Clown-gone-crazy kind of laugh)"

OKay, got that off my chest. Back on track. So, I am waiting in the check-out lane. And I am bored because I am that juvenile, that I need to be entertained all the time. I guess I am not alone because the Wal-Mart had TV's installed at every single check-out lane. Probably should have thought thru that one a little and realized if people had time to catch a sitcom while waiting to pay for their stuff then maybe the answer would have been a couple more cashiers- but I digress.

So, as I am in line I am checking out all the extra stuff I have no need for but might want and I come across a package of Cherry Tic Tacs, ummm yummy! Right? But they were $1.99 and get this, sugar-free. I don't want no stinkin' sugar-free Tic Tacs. But on a serious note- I have become such a ridiculous tightwad that I would not purchase the $2 Tic Tacs. So, I compromise and buy a package of Orbitz Pomegranate Chewing Gum. Which was less than a dollar.

I bought some Orbitz Mojito gum not too long ago. Mojitos are the best drink ever. And on the plus side, I can make them. I have tried to learn to make Chocolate Martinis for several years and I don't know what my problem is, but I cannot do it. Mojitos, I have mastered. Mojito Gum, on the other hand, was the nastiest stuff ever invented. I do not know why I thought it would be good. It is not good, stay away from the Mojito gum.

So, I leave the Wal-Mart with my pomegranate gum. Later that day as I drove to get the kiddos I remembered the gum I bought and I grabbed a piece. No words for it people. Stay away from the pomegranate gum. Yuck. So I throw the rest of the pack back in my purse. And, no, I have no idea why I did that. But the next morning we get in the car to head to school. Caroline notes that car has a strawberry-air-freshener-smell. And that's exactly what it smelled like. Very, very strong strawberry-cardboard-on-a-string-air-freshener. From the gum.

That gum was so strong that it had "airfreshened" my whole car.

Stay away from the pomegranate gum.