Where does your tunnel lead?

I admit that I watch a ridiculously silly, okay stupid, soap opera. It's really not something I have much control over. I started watching when I was like 4 and it's kinda like a train wreck, you want to look away but you just can't. And I TIVO it and watch it while I am cleaning or packing Ebay stuff.

So, I generally do not watch this fine piece of television programming when the kiddos are around. It's not like there is really anything that horrible on it. I think I am more embarrassed that they know that's what I watch when I actually get the remote. Makes Hannah Montana look like an Emmy award winner.

Anyway, as far as I can remember I just didn't watch last summer. This summer so far, they had been TIVOed but not watched because I do not have 10 minutes of peace in the summertime. As a side note, I am perfectly fine with having no peace. It's what I signed up for when I birthed these young un's, and generally speaking they are mighty fine company.

Back to the D-U-M-B show. I decided to watch some yesterday as I was cleaning floors and windows in the living room/office preparing the house for sale. And finally we get to the point. The storyline is stupid so I won't even go there but it involves an underground tunnel connecting an abandoned nightclub to the evil town tormentors house. Convenient, no? So as I couldn't sleep last night I begin to think, where would I want my tunnel to go?

Hey, I know it's silly and you don't have to read if you don't want to. But you will hurt my feelings I will sic the evil Stefano Dimera on you if you don't. So there. Ah-hem, back on track. Where would your tunnel go? You could give the Sunday school answer and say church. And that's sweet. But would a tunnel to church really be all that useful? It would only prove handy to me on Sunday mornings when I am way behind schedule. And it could provide dangerous if people found the tunnel, they could follow me home for Sunday lunch. Nope, not to church. How about the hospital? Definitely handy for some people who may have a need to get medical care quickly. Since I am the accident prone one in our house, I would rule out hospital too. The last thing I want to do when injured or vomiting uncontrollably is crawl through some dark, damp tunnel. The grocery store would have been super handy when the offspring were younger. Nothing like realizing you have no diapers at midnight, right? Just zip through your private tunnel and get some, and leave some cash on the counter. Out here in Hillbilly Land grocery stores aren't open all night. But my diaper days are done too, so not much need anymore for midnight grocery store runs.

Seems there's not really a great need for secret, underground tunnels in real life. So, since it's completely unreal and unreasonable to have a secret, underground tunnel I choose Disney World. That's right. I want a secret, underground tunnel to Disney World with a super, speedy vessel (my son could give this a much better name) to get me there in one hour. No, 10 minutes. I want to go into my pantry, open the secret hatch, jump in, and 10 minutes later be in the Magic Kingdom. Now that would be a good show.

So, where would your tunnel go?